Grandpa Grumps Story


Yep, that's me when I still had hair and could see without a magnifying glass.  The name says it all.  I'm a grumpy old man with dozens of grandchildren.  I see the world through grumpy old eyes and express my grumpy ideas with grumpy words and pictures.

WHAT DOES A GRUMPY GRAMPS DO ANYWAY? - If you're still reading, something is wrong with you, but I'll answer the question just the same.

GRANDPA GRUMPS BOOKS, TM is where I have my published illustrated children's stories.  You can request a custom illustrated paperback story for your own special grandchild or buy some from my bookshelf.  Grandpa Grumps Books is found at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.  If you want a custom book, SEE THE CONTACT PAGE, and be patient, they take some effort.


GRANDPA GRUMPS ENTERPRISES, LLC  creates direct to garment (DTG) print on demand (POD) clothing and accessories under the Grandpa Grumps brand. You can find hoodies, bags, tees, phone cases, candles, mugs, caps, and more with a variety of grumpy images on them.  I can create stylized digital art of anything you want - even your own ugly caricature - and print it on any item of your choice in my store.  On demand means you can order just one.  It can be done!  There is currently a special line of products with a Catholic theme.

For those of you who like satire, you will find my cutting edge commentary on the foolishness of our common human condition in the adult aisle.  If that stuff offends you, well, go cry somewhere else!

WHY DO I DO IT? - Seriously?  Are you still reading this?

I'd love to tell you I don't want to make a profit, but I'd be lying.  I'm Grandpa Grumps, not grandpa liar. I want and need to make money, so first I created all this art and set up this web thingy -  First you give, then you receive. - That's how it works.   If you truly understand money, then you know that it is just a truck that moves goods, services, and people from place to place.  That's it.  Think about it! 

I became more interested in Renaissance and Medieval art and sculpture when I had the good fortune to travel all over Italy and France with my brother.  Catholic churches are full of incredible priceless art - and its all black from 1000 years of wax candles.  LED simulated candles are beginning to take the place of wax, but the damage is already done.  These artworks are being restored with Q-Tips and bottled water.  It's tedious and expensive.  I am donating part of my profit to the restoration of this kind of artwork, hence the Catholic themed items. Some people call it giving back, I don't.  I didn't take anything that I need to feel bad about or give back.  I just like good art.. Until that trip with my brother, I had never been in a Catholic Church let alone burned a candle, so don't blame me for the mess.

There are two ways to see life: In Harmony or In Conflict.  I choose harmony, which is a bit odd for a grump.  If you see something you like in the store, buy it.  If you want something made, tell me.  That's harmony. You get what you need and want, and I get what I need and want.  It's a win-win for both of us.

I am also getting too old and broken down to do manual labor.. Fortunately I was blessed in life's lottery by being born in the USA where everyone can still reasonably do whatever they choose to make a living.  So, I am doing this now.  LIFE IS GOOD was already taken.  If this fails, I'll try something else.

On my website - still under construction - you will find a list of domestic charities that I support with a portion of my profits: Our Underground Railroad, Chalcedon Foundation, Nazarene Fund, Pre-Born among others.  I really believe private charities are way more efficient than government programs.  I am not a socialist.  Sorry if that offends you.  Grumps don't care about your feelings anyway.