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Grandpa Grumps Story


Yep, that's me when I still had hair and could see without a magnifying glass.  The name says it all.  I'm a grumpy old man with dozens of grandchildren.  I view things through grumpy old eyes and express my grumpy ideas with grumpy words and pictures.

WHAT DOES A GRUMPY GRAMPS DO ANYWAY? -  If you are a Grandpa Grumps you know.  If you aren't a Grandpa Grumps, you probably know one. As for me: here's what I do:

GRANDPA GRUMPS BOOKS, TM is where I have my published illustrated children's stories.  You can request a custom illustrated paperback story for your own special grandchild, or you could just buy something from my bookshelf; go ahead, I need the money.  Grandpa Grumps Stories are found at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.  Type "Grandpa Grumps Stories" in the search bar - I come up second, as usual.  If you want a custom book, SEE THE CONTACT PAGE, and be patient, they take some effort. Here's the cover picture for my first collection of 5 stories.  I drew it back in 2017, and NO I don't use AI - never have - wouldn't know how.


GRANDPA GRUMPS ENTERPRISES, LLC  creates direct to garment (DTG) print on demand (POD) clothing and accessories under the Grandpa Grumps brand. You can find hoodies, bags, tees, phone cases, candles, mugs, caps, and more with a variety of grumpy images on them.  I can create stylized digital art of anything you want - even your own ugly caricature - and print it on any item of your choice in my store.  On demand means you can order just one.  It can be done!  There is currently a line of products with a Catholic theme. Jubilee is in 2025 guys.

For those of you who like satire, you will find my razor sharp cutting edge wit and social commentary about the foolishness of our common human condition in the adult aisle.  If that stuff offends you, well, go cry somewhere else!

WHY DO I DO IT? - Seriously?  Are you still reading this?

I'd love to tell you I don't want to make a profit, but I'd be lying.  I'm Grandpa Grumps, not grandpa liar. I want and need to make money, so first I created all this art and set up this web thingy -  First you give, then you receive.  That's how it works.   If you truly understand money, then you know that it is just a truck that moves goods, services, and people from place to place.  That's it.  Think about it! 

I became more interested in Renaissance and Medieval art and sculpture when I had the good fortune to travel around Italy and France.  Catholic churches are full of incredible priceless art - and its all black from 1000 years of wax candles.  LED simulated candles are beginning to take the place of wax, but the damage is already done.  These artworks are being restored with Q-Tips and bottled water.  It's tedious and expensive.  I am going to donate part of my profit to the restoration of this kind of artwork, hence the Catholic themed items. Some people call it giving back, I don't.  I didn't take anything that I need to feel bad about or give back.  I just like good art.  Until that trip to Europe, I had never even been in a Catholic Church, let alone burned a candle, so don't blame me for the mess.

There are two fundamental world views: In Harmony or In Conflict.  I choose harmony, which is a bit odd for a grump.  If you see something you like in the store, buy it.  If you want something made, tell me.  That's harmony: You get what you need and want, and I get what I need and want.  It's a win-win for both of us.

I am also getting too old and broken down to do manual labor. Fortunately I was blessed by God to be born in the USA where everyone can still reasonably do whatever they choose to make a living.  So, I am doing this now because the "LIFE IS GOOD" and "ME AND MY GNOMIES" collections were already taken - well, almost all taken. (see my product list)  If this fails, I'll try something else.

Some domestic charities that I support with a portion of my profits are: Our Underground Railroad O.U.R. - they rescue exploited children; The Chalcedon Foundation - which publishes the works of RJ Rushdooney, (If you haven't heard of him you should look him up);  The Nazarene Fund - which flies all over the world for all kinds of disaster relief;  and Pre-Born - because I like live babies.  Private charities are and always will be far more efficient than any government program.  I am not a far left socialist.  It's too bad if that offends you.  Grumps don't care about your feelings anyway.