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Grandpa Grumps Enterprises LLC |

Years ago I received bad advice.  I was told that there was such a thing as a "free right turn".  What that meant was that if I was turning right at a stop sign, I didn't have to stop.  I believed it.  I have believed a whole bunch of things that aren't true in my lifetime.  This one I believed so much that I actually intentionally turned right at a stop sign without stopping.  I did it right in front of the California Highway Patrol officer.  Yep, she straightened me right out too.

Actually, she wasn't one of those NAZI cops, she believed me when I told her I believed in the free right turn.  She kindly explained to me that that was BS, and told me I could pay a fine, or go to re-education camp.  I went to camp.  That was a mistake. Pay the fine if it happens to you.  It's less time consuming and less painful.

Anyway, the class turned out to be entertaining and I passed.  All you had to do to pass was show up and pay the instructor's fee.  At this class we were asked who the worst drivers on the road were.  The instructor, who was a jerk, was looking for bigoted stereotypical comments so he could humiliate someone in the class.  However, he was the one who got his hat handed to him when a Chinese woman with a heavy accent piped right up and said, "Oh, it is Chinese.  They are worst!"  She was deadpan serious, and everyone in the room knew she was right too.  At the time, in the place, in my experience, she was right.  The instructor was a bit dumbfounded.  That was worth the entrance fee.

Times have changed.  I drive everyday.  Idiot drivers abound, but, the worst drivers are not necessarily Chinese.  The pencil necked Democrats in their Subaru Outback, those are the worst drivers ever.  These guys are purer and smarter than the traffic god hisself.  They intentionally drive about 7 miles per hour under the speed limit in a fashion and in places where it's impossible to pass them.  They smugly ignore all my finger gestures and the sound of my horn.  Naturally they absolutely must come to a complete stop before they can possibly make a right turn off the highway.  If there is an oncoming car within a mile of the intersection, they won't pull out.  I have sat behind one of these bone heads through 3, THREE, left turn signals because they are to scrupulous to pull out into the middle of the intersection on a yellow arrow.

And frankly, race, gender, and sexual orientation don't seem to make any difference at all.  You can always tell.  They are all vegetarians - just look at their neck.  Their Adams apple looks like a soft ball on a broken Popsicle stick.  These are the same clowns who tell the world that eating meat is causing global warming because the only thing cows are good for is eating plants and farting -  wait a minute, that sounds jsut like a vegan or vegetarian.  Yep, that's them alright.  If you see a Subaru ahead, turn off somewhere unless you are a glutton for bad gas and hot air.

Oh yeah, here's an update:  In recent years, their offspring (how they ever figured out how to breed is beyond me) are driving Prius'.  Man, I'm glad I'm old.  I don't know how much more I can take.



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